I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
