Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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