you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
