i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize