How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
