Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
