I have demons in me.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
