it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
It's never too late to be topless.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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