OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Randomize
