This is not my ceiling
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
