I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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