Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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