God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
