Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
This is classic penis vs brain.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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