fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
our cab driver is having phone sex.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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