he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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