Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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