I think im going to throw up on grandma
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
