pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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