There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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