and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
why does every cop we meet know your name?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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