if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Randomize
