Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
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