Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
