You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
