I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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