Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
