she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
