My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
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