i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
