when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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