Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
We got so high we made milksteak
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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