addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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