I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
