Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
