I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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