The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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