I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize