He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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