I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
