Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
