Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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