i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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