Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
