I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
How external is "for external use only"?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
