somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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