I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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