i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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