dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
