Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
