that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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