So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
