Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I don't think brook has ever known best
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize