It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize