Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
