is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
