well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
