Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I think my fart just growled at me.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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