I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
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