I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
