Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
