The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
