it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
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