PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
