you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
