we're blogging at a bar
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize